Killswitch...

I just got the new killswitch engage album, i love them so much, my favourite band.

but songs especially have stood out to me so much for the lyrics. Its the best album ive heard from them since the end of heartache.
People dont have to like the music fair enough, but the lyrics are amazing, and as someone who loves lyrics so much, as i have a diploma in it, lol.

these two songs:

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Take-Me-Away-lyrics-Killswitch-Engage/100641D7018E873E482575E8000CA667

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Lost-lyrics-Killswitch-Engage/C5AEFA340D10C686482575E8000C8E83

Unforgetable...

Dean Geyer - Unforgetable

You were always there
Why did they take you away?
I was never scared
In your arms I felt invincible

Wanted you to see
The world beneath my feet
I wish that you could stay
I would tell you
You’re unbelievable

(CHORUS)
And I want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing with everything
I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
You gotta know
You’re unforgettable

You say I’ve got your eyes
Still it’s so much to see
I couldn’t even say goodbye
Cause you were taken, without
Even letting go
This crimson
Runs through my veins
It’s your life
You’re the energy

(CHORUS)
And I want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing with everything
I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go gotta know
I just need to hear you speak
Hold onto my hand
There’s nothing in between us
I know you’re thinking of me
You’ll be there if I reach

(CHORUS)
And I want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing with everything
I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
You gotta know
You gotta know
To know…

(CHORUS)
And I want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing with everything
I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
You gotta know
You’re unforgettable
You’re unforgettable
You’re unforgettable

Seriously i have overplayed this song since i heard it on neighbours, it means so much to me :)

...

I cant really give a reason to why this song means so much right now, but there is something strange going on, i knew i was clairsentient, but this is just taking over, im picking up on someones pain full on and this pain doesnt belong to me, im happy!
I just been for the last few days wanting to cry and wishing that the angels around this person will help them. I pull tarot cards and just see pain and tears.

Alterbridge - In loving memory

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always waiting
And now come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's
And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

Happy?

Havent posted for a while, but i need to do an update in hope that it will help me make more progress.
As from previous posts, ive been emo, upset and let down by people.

I want a good post for once, im happy enough for now (dont wanna jynx it!).
Firstly with weight, my exercise though havent written on my other blog (havent had the chance), my weight is going, i dont feel as big, and im a happy size 8, though i still want to lose abit more. Im so healthy with my food, my portion sizes have strunk, believe it or not im still eating chocolate but in moderation and still losing weight, i feel thats mainly cause of my exercise that im pushing through nearly every day.

Im getting my tattoo in 2 weeks, so excited and nervous at the same time, its gonna hurt, compared to the last one, but so excited.

In two weeks also im doing my driving theory, though havent fully studied, i might do some tommorow, to be honest enjoying the sunshine.

Im going to a samaritans volunteering councelling meeting next wednesday, not 100% sure on this however will give it a shot.

Im hoping to get an enrolment form filled out for a salsa class in london that starts this thursday, which would mean going straight from work, 5 weeks it runs for, *fingers crossed that i can still get on it this late* it says there are places still available.

My social life has perked up abit, though not fantastic, im being invited out by people more and people notice me there more

I went to forum meet other week, and it was so much fun, and so something i wouldnt have done a year or so ago, but a great experience.

I have planned to go to a college in surrey in september to study interior design introduction, its definately what i want to do, after that im doing a home course diploma in it, then one day not to be too optimistic i would love my own design company.

My financial situation, isnt great i will be honest, with driving lessons costing alot, getting a tattoo and recently a brand new computer, guilty pleasures i know, but i am being alot more sensible with my money and i know my debts will be paid by december now at the latest due to driving lessons taking my bank balance down quickly.

Back to the driving i been doing so well and im so proud, i wanna car now! after my theory is passed *fingers crossed* im being booked in for my practical, which is an 8 week wait, but its long enough to get completely ready, as he feels im pretty much ready now, if it wasnt for having my theory ready he'd book me in now!

I still talk to psychics and though im alot more control with the spending on this than last year, i still spend alittle bit, people may mock me for talking to them, but they have helped me alot and made some incredibly accurate predictions, the recent one i got sounds good! :P

With work, its ok... not sure really want to say on it, its not awful, but im keeping my eye on a certain person who is very sneaky. I also have the feeling they plan to make me a PA to one of the doctors and if this does arise then im gonna say only yes if i get another raise. I did infact get a quite generous raise recently, which was good.

Overall things are changing, but for the first time in my life they are changing because im maknig them change myself. My new outlook is to seize the day more!

Thoughts of Strength

Just been thinking recently as everyone around me seem to be falling apart like i predicted and from a recent situation, no matter how hard i try to advise people, they dont listen, and then they realise i was right and then everything falls apart, as ive just witnessed a few moments ago.
I think of all these people who claim everything is ok and really when the tiniest thing goes wrong they fall apart. It makes me greatful for the pain ive suffered as i know i can deal with the many things others cant.
It makes me think how much more i want to do telephone work with the samaritans and help people, and try and make people realise that they have to just hang on no matter how much it hurts. I give my time to people in my life and dont get it all back, maybe if i help people who really are at rock bottom, i can help people who need it more.

"Whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger"

A song that means alot to me:

Superchick - Stand in the Rain

She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all
alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first
tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she
stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from
wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS] So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Not much longer

I hate to sound morbid or horrible, but if things do change and get better by the end of may, im walking away.
No one reads so dont matter anyway.
But i decided to leave in one way or another, its strange i been going over the idea of ending my life, or either actually getting on a plane and running away.
Maybe its the wrong thing to do, but things dont fit much more now and if things get worse or show no improvement by end of may, will go through with one of these.

When its time?

I feel like these negative posts will stay till i pull my self away from all the hurt.
I have absolutely no one around me, my strong side is holding my head up, and making people around me believe theres nothing wrong, in all honesty, my heart actually aches, and fnding this strength to stay strong is hard, but to be honest im amazed at how much ive managed to not let it me drag me into depression.
You know when you hurt and feel pain and want to turn to someone, i havent got that so im relying on my own self to hold me up.
I feel bad about feeling upset about something so little compared to something i heard the other day which was incredibly upsetting. I am upset about having absolutely no one in my life, no friends and just one big group of people with the words 'let down and lier' tagged on them.
In all honest i hate being upset and down, i want this side of me to just go away.
Why cant i just pretend and join all the fake people and be nothing like who i am, maybe people will like me then.
What i come to realise is money means nothing, neither do possesions, people who love and care about you are all that matter.
I would rather be fat, poor and have the best friends in the world, cause ive never had that.
Dont complain about money and being overweight, do something about it, cause its something that can be fixed.

I hate to say this but i been thinking of ending it all for good lately. I havent let anyone know that.

One song i love and one group who pretty much helped me for some many years, i must have outplayed the album so much.

Lifehouse - Simon

Catch your breath,
Hit the wall,
Scream out loud,
As you start to crawl
Back in your cage
The only place
Where they will Leave you alone.
'Cause the weak will
Seek the weaker til they've broken them.
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense,
Left you with no defense;
They tore it down.

(Chorus):And I have felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same.

Locked inside
The only place
Where you feel sheltered,
Where you feel safe.
You lost yourself
In your search to find Something else to hide behind.

The fearful always preyed upon your confidence.
Did they see the consequence,
when they pushed you around?
The arrogant build kingdoms made of the different ones,
Breaking them 'til they've become just another crown.

(Chorus):And I have felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same.

Refuse to feel anything at all,
Refuse to slip,
Refuse to fall.
Can't be weak,
Can't stand still,
You watch your back 'cause no one will.
You don't know why they had to go this far,
Traded your worth for these scars,
For your only company.
And don't believe the lies
That they have told to you.
Not one word was true
you're alright, you're alright, you're alright.

(Chorus):And I have felt the same as you,
I've felt the same as you,
I've felt the same.

Please if anyone is hurting, listen to Lifehouse album 'no name face' it helped me so much.
Trying, simon and Breathing are 3 songs i would highly recommend,